So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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