How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
