In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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