But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
