very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
