we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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