are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
