so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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