Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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