Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
