The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
