That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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