READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
