There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
