You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
