I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
