well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
