OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
