Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
tell me about the eggs
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
