question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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