Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
