just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
