What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Alive.
So much puke
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
