sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
