Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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