i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
