if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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