East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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