I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
