So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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