their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
