I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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