if i died would you start the facebook group?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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