my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
