Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
