I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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