I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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