hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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