wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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