Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
