I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
