I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
