dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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