ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
