wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
