I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
