So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
