You really coming over, don't trick.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
