i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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