I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
