im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
