haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
COCAINE IS GR8
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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